Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
