508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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