You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
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Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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