i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In America we eat man semen.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
