I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
