I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
As shirtless as possible
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
