I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
