There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
