I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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