addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
