i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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