absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
zippers are such a cool invention
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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