we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
