do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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