It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I could fuck to npr.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft