yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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