Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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