So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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