Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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