Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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