Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
