I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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