my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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