honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
