Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We left the knife in your bed.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
