Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
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Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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