i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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