I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize