We named our party play list daddy issues
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
