He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize