I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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