I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
