My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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