No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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