just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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