We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
