We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
