After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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