yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
