My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize