I want to walk on stilts...naked
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
