She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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