Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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