This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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