It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish you could order shots online.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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