Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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