I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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