you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
