Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
