Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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