a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize