did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
