did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
