butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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