that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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