Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
