Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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