So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
