so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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