we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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