I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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