I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
