I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
