Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
