thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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