therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
