i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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