just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
one might say we're banned from that church
tell your sister to shave her snatch
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
